You Are Not Empty, Dean Winchester
by Bushy Squirrel
Summary: Dean gets pulled out his regularly scheduled dreaming to have an unexpected discussion with an expected person. - T for Language


"What the f..." Dean looked around in confusion when his usual Castiel-induced dream of fishing at a dock changed. He was now in an extremely familiar living room.

"Hello, Dean." A short man on the other side of the room gave Dean a smile before motioning to the couch. "Please. Do sit down."

"Chuck?" Dean non-squeaked in surprise. "Where have you been? Cas said you were dead! That you had to be because of Kevin being 'activated'."

"I've been...away. Now, would you please sit down?" Chuck avoided. He motioned towards the couch again until Dean gave in and finally sat down.

"What do you mean away? Chuck, you know everything we do down to the last detail. You know how dangerous it is just to 'disappear'." Dean continued.

"Kevin needed some final prep before his, as you called it, 'activation'. I'm sure you'll understand that. Prophets need to be able to handle the stress of the position before it is actually given to them." Chuck's smile remained on his face as he sat in the chair across from Dean. "Anyway, Dean, I brought you here because we need to talk."

"Hell, yeah, we need to talk! How is it that Kevin can be activated when you're still alive?"

"That's a bit of a...what would you say...technicality issue. I'm not a true prophet. I simply stood in for Kevin until he became old enough. Not even I would give such an important duty to someone as young as Kevin was he was first called upon." Chuck's smile turned wry as he patiently answered Dean's question.

"Wait..." Dean's eyes thinned out in suspicion. "'Not even you'? Just what is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know. You tell me." Chuck shot back. He relaxed back in his chair and crossed his ankles, leaving his hands woven together on top of his stomach.

"How are you even in my dream? Because I'm asleep. I know I'm sleep. I was just in..." Dean trailed off, suddenly unsure of his location.

"I pulled you here from your regular dream so we could have our discussion without actually waking you up. Your body needs the rest."

"_Pulled_. Who are you? Really?" Dean gave Chuck a look that said 'Explain'.

"Why, Dean!" Chuck let out a surprised burst of laughter. "You already know who I am. I told you straight to your face. It's your fault for not believing me. Of course, I'm not surprised. You never have."

Dean thought back to the many conversations he and Chuck had had in the past, and could only think of one instance where Chuck had said he was someone else.

"Why didn't my amulet glow?" Dean asked as a test. The look on Chuck's face turned knowing and somewhat proud.

"As I had Joshua tell you and your brother, I only let people find me when I wish to be found. It was all too easy to mask the glow of the amulet from sight when you came to visit." Chuck waved a hand idly. "Now that we have the preliminaries out of the way, we need to talk."

"About what? About how you're a handful of years too late to deal with the temper tantrum your two oldest threw in Stull Cemetery?" Dean snapped. All the anger he had felt over the years of being ignored by the being in front of him was beginning to rise up to the surface.

"How can I get my children to learn the concept of free will if I'm constantly telling them what to do or stopping them from doing certain things so they don't have to deal with the consequences? That goes entirely against what free will is all about. Michael and Lucifer both had the ability to step down from their confrontation but they didn't. Lucifer tried to change the outcome until the very end, and I'm proud of him for that, but he still met Michael in that cemetery." Chuck suddenly turned serious. "Lucifer was the first to realize the perks of free will. It was unexpected and I punished him far too harshly for it. Since then, many more angels have followed in his foot steps without repercussions. Anna, Uriel, Castiel, Balthazar, and even Raphael. All have gone against orders for some reason or another. I did nothing to stop them."

"And you did nothing to save them. All your angels were in civil war with each other after Lucifer and Michael were thrown into the cage. How many got hurt because of that? How many died?" Dean hissed in return. All he could think of was how Cas felt forced to work with Crowley and the results of that 'partnership'. Hunting down the leviathan and getting stuck in Purgatory was far worse than what they dealt with during the Apocalypse.

"Tell me, Dean. What could I have possibly done or said to my children that wouldn't have interfered with their free will? You've met enough of them. You know they would have taken anything I said as an order." Chuck frowned.

"I don't know! How about _telling_ your precious little angels that they had free will and no longer had to follow your prophecies?!"

"Dean..." A disappointed look appeared on Chuck's face as he slowly shook his head. "If the entirety of Heaven accepted free will in the flip of a switch utter chaos would have ensued. You have seen the damage that Anna caused in her short stint on Earth. You have seen what Raphael did with his new-found free will. Imagine what would have happened if they all became like that at once. No, I couldn't let that happen. I want all my children to have free will, not to throw them into anarchy. It has to happen gradually so they at least maintain a sense of structure during the change."

Dean fell silent, unable to argue. Chuck had a point. The angels falling into anarchy would have been the absolute worst thing to happen. It had been difficult enough holding them off when they were organized. If every single one was out for themselves? Well, Dean might as well hole himself in an angel-proof bunker in that scenario.

"The trouble my children are having with free will isn't why I wanted to talk to you, though. I am, as you would say, finally stepping in to make sure things go down a certain path to avoid certain situations." That caught Dean's immediate attention. He looked at Chuck in shock, waiting for the older 'man' to continue. "When you, Sam, and Castiel were facing down Famine, he said something to you. Mocked you about something. Do you remember?"

"Yes. He...he said I was empty inside." Dean replied in a hollow tone.

"Right." Chuck said in an acknowledging tone. He gave Dean a look to encourage him to keep talking, as if Dean was supposed to be leading this conversation even though he didn't know what the point was.

"Why am I empty inside? Why wasn't I affected by Famine?" Dean finally voiced the questions that had been echoing inside his head since that night.

"Easy answer. You _were_ affected by Famine." The beginnings of a smile returned to Chuck's face.

"What?"

"You _were_ affected by Famine." Chuck patiently repeated. "There are many ways to be affected by him. Most think of extreme food scarcity when they think of the word famine and they aren't exactly wrong, but that's not the only thing it means. It's archaic definition means 'hunger'. _That_ is the true embodiment of the horseman Famine, not food scarcity. Feeling true _hunger_ for something. For anything, not just food, drugs, and sex."

"I had complete control of my faculties that night, though." Dean started. He remembered that night quite clearly. Sam's screams of detox in Bobby's basement made sure of that.

"So did Sam and Castiel. As you know, though, they each were affected; Sam by his addiction to demon blood and Castiel to Jimmy's natural desire for red meat. You were affected as well. It simply wasn't as obvious." Chuck leaned forward with his forearms pressed onto his knees. "You lost all desire that night. You didn't eat. You didn't drink. You only flirted with women on principle and because it was expected from you, not because you truly wanted to. You wanted absolutely nothing that night, save one thing."

"And what was that?" Dean was almost too afraid to ask. If it wasn't obvious to him that night then it had to be something bad.

"Love. Love, Dean."

"You just pointed out that I wasn't sucking face with anyone that night. That couple had their love for each other affected by Famine and they literally ate each other." Dean immediately stood up and began pacing, suddenly feeling on edge.

"That's _Lust_, Dean. Cupids actually activate Lust in people to get their relationships started, not Love. I said you were affected by _Love_." Chuck corrected Dean. He watched as Dean slowly paced back and forth in front of the couch, making no move to get him to sit down again.

"How?" Dean demanded as he gave Chuck a hard look.

"You were fighting for Sam. You were fighting for Castiel. You were fighting for Bobby. For the memories of Ellen and Jo. You were fighting to stop the Apocalypse for the entirety of the human race because you love them. You love everyone you meet in some way, Dean. That's why it hurts you so much when they violate the meager expectations you have of them. You truly _love_ humanity and that love is what Famine impacted once you were within his range of influence. It was his downfall because that love is also what drives you to be the hunter you are. Famine literally gave you the motivation to fight him when the odds were against you." The look on Chuck's face morphed into pride again. It was a look that made Dean falter because he hadn't seen it on anyone's face while it was directed at _him_ in a while. Not since his father looked at him like that minutes before Azazel collected on the demon deal.

"Why...why are you telling me this?" Dean managed to get out with a shaky wave of his hand.

"Something is going to happen soon and Castiel will be part of it. He is going to need you more than ever before, even if he won't admit it, and that means you _need_ to _know_ that you aren't just some empty shell of a man. Castiel will not truly be at fault, but that won't stop the guilt. And it certainly won't stop the blame." Chuck stood up, himself, and began to wring his hands as he gave Dean a worried look. "I'm telling you this because the son who looked me in the face and said 'What the hell' when I asked him why he was standing up to Raphael, proving to me that my children are capable of having free will without purposely sending everything into chaos, is going to need your support in the near future. I am extremely proud of Castiel and everything that he has done during his time with you, Dean. I do not want to see him fall because of a mistake."

"And you're not going to tell me what this mistake will be, are you?" Chuck slowly shook his head in response to Dean's question.

"No. I merely ask you to be ready for it and not to blame Castiel. It _won't_ be his fault." The fact that God was coming to him as a worried parent was making things surreal for Dean and he was having difficulty registering the fact that this was _really_ happening.

"I...I won't. I won't blame Cas." Dean promised.

"Thank you." Chuck let out a relieved sigh. He relaxed only slightly before getting tense again with a splash of awkward, making him look a lot like the human he had pretended to be. "I should probably send you back to your 'regularly scheduled dreaming' before Castiel notices that you aren't there."

"That's it? Nothing else?"

"No. Nothing else. That is all I have to tell. And _I_ promise _you_ that everything is going to be ok, Dean. I would not be so vague in my warning if I thought you incapable of handling it." Chuck walked up to Dean and gave him one last look of approval. "You're more than capable of handling what is to come. You are not empty, Dean Winchester."

Chuck touched two fingers to Dean's forehead before he could say anything, sending him back to the peace of his dream dock.


End file.
